Just a touch.

I was laying on the couch with my legs over his lap. He was idly sliding his hands up and down my legs in a comforting way. I only had a few minutes before I had to go, and we were talking and enjoying our last few minutes together. It took me a while to notice the subtle change from comforting to sensual. His hands were getting closer and closer to my core, with an occasional brush of his fingers against me.

"Baby.." I said in a pleading voice. We only had a few minutes and I didn't want to get worked up before we had to say goodbye.

He told me just to enjoy it, and so I laid back and reveled in the wonderful feelings crashing over me. He never moved under my panties, or used a lot of pressure, he just ran his fingertips along my opening, and rubbed circles into me. By the time he was done I was wet and shaking. It was one of the most erotic, loving experiences of my life, just being stroked and touched.

NOW.

This ones for you baby : )

He answered on the first ring.

"I need you baby. Come over NOW."

Less than five minutes had passed before I heard a knock at the door. I barely let him inside before I pushed him against the door and kissed him senseless. I could hear his shocked intake of breath as I ground myself against him. We slowly made our way to my bed. He saw the pink vibrator on my bed, where I had discarded it earlier in frustration, and lifted one eyebrow in question.

"It wasn't enough," I said while pulling off my panties.

He pushed me down on the bed and pulled my skirt up to my waist. He could see how wet I was, how badly I needed him. He knew I needed no slow build-up, no slow laps of his tongue. He spread me open and rubbed his thumb on my clit, eliciting a moan from me. And then he devoured me. Rubbing his tongue hard against me, I could barely control the urge to push myself harder into his mouth. In no time at all I could feel myself on the edge of a huge orgasm, and with one swirl of his tongue I went careening over the edge. He kissed his way up my body, stopping at my belly button, and taking a long detour at each breast, biting and sucking my nipples.

I snuggled up to his side, nibbling his earlobe and whispered "Thank god you answered the phone." He chuckled, I sighed.

Want.

I derive most of my pleasure in sex from giving it to my partner. I love the feel of power and satisfaction watching them overcome with lust, squirming from the pleasure of whatever I'm doing to them. I love knowing exactly how crazy I am driving you with every touch, lick, and brush of my lips. Nothing makes me feel sexier than when you tell me how badly you want me, need me, have to have me. Its that desire, the overwhelming need for me that makes me want to give you all the pleasure I can. It's a heady thing to feel desired, to know that at that moment in time all they want is you. I try not to be selfish in life and in love and I hope this carries over to sex. I want him to know how amazing he makes me feel, and I hope that my pleasure makes him feel as glorious as his makes me.

The Sweetest Sounds

He had spent the last two hours worshiping every part of my body, from the most erotic to the most overlooked. After every orgasm as I fought to catch my breath he would push me higher and higher into ecstasy. As sweet as my pleasure was I was dying to get my hands, my mouth on him, and I knew he craved my touch just as much. I love the taste of his skin, how it feels under my lips, how his stomach contracts when I run my tongue around his belly button. I try to take my time, to go slowly, really draw it out, but I am more eager than he is for the moment when I can wrap my mouth around him. I swirl his precum around the head and suck him deep to the back of my throat. Even though I have come more times than I can count, the sound of his moans sends a tremor straight to my core. It doesn't take long before I can feel his balls tighten and he fills my mouth with his seed.

As he lays panting, basking in the afterglow of his orgasm, I lay my head on his chest and throw my leg over his thigh. This is when I feel closest to him, covered in sweat and cum listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Just a taste..

Wow.. I cannot believe it has been so long since I have last posted. I have had a lot of personal stuff going on, and my sex drive has been (tragically) put on the back burner. But I have a few posts brewing and I will be back soon with something! But until then heres a little taste:

I could feel his warm cum sliding between my legs. All my dirty girl instincts were screaming to slide my fingers between my legs and taste him, but I knew I had to wait for his permission. He massaged his cum into my legs making me squirm and then he finally brought his fingers to my mouth where I sucked greedily on his fingers, slurping up every bit of his cum.

I know what you did last night.

I slowly open myself, just barely grazing my clit with my fingertips. I slowly slide the bullet in, to rest just on top of my hardening nub. I tense around it in anticipation of the rush to come, waiting for the moment when I flick the switch and feel the first vibrations run through me. The first rush and I buck against the bed, trying to get closer to the sweetness coursing through me. I slowly increase the speed, rubbing myself in circular motions, barely holding my orgasm off. And as I speed up just a little bit, I lose my barely tethered hold on my control and I come with a moan and strangled breath, still moving in circles until every last bit of pleasure has been wrung from me.

Channeling Katy Perry

I have been having really hot girl on girl dreams lately with increasing frequency. They have all been about different girls, and different situations, but I always wake up soaking wet and craving the softness of a girl. Last night it was me and a gorgeous brunette who had a slightly exotic look and a tongue ring. Her face was between my thighs, using that tongue ring in a way that should be criminal. The dream was so good I came in my sleep, a lovely little treat that happens every once in a while. The more I dream about it, the more I think about looking for a girl to play with. I'm not sure if or when it will happen, but I really hope it lives up to these dreams : )

An experiment

He slides my arms up over my head and holds them above me with one hand as he kisses me. His other hand slides down my side till he reaches the edge of my shirt. He brushes his fingertips up my ribs until he reaches the underside of my breasts. He gently cups one, his thumb lightly brushing my nipple. He softly orders me not to move my hands, and takes off my shirt. Then he kisses a trail down my body starting with the soft spot behind my ear to my throat, stopping for a few minutes at my breasts, taking my nipple into his mouth. Alternating between laving it with his tongue, and taking soft nibbles, he worships one while he rolls the other between his fingers. He works his way down my stomach lightly nipping at my hip, making a stop to trace the outline of my tattoo with his tongue. He places kisses along the top of my skirt, while one hand slides up my leg drawing circles on my inner thigh. He slowly removes my panties as I arch off the bed, following close behind with his mouth. He kisses a trail from my hip to the junction of my thighs. He slowly tortures me with soft kisses and slow licks, purposefully avoiding the place I need him most. As I start to tremble he slides one finger in, pumping in and out as he curls his tongue around my clit. He quickly sheds his jeans and before I even miss his hands and mouth he’s inside me and I’m coming apart, scraping my nails down his back.

Hmm..

My birthday is coming up, and I always get the urge to do something slightly radical to celebrate another year of me. This year I am thinking clit piercing. But I'm a little terrified. Everyone says it doesn't hurt and that it doesnt take that long to heal, but I don't want to have to go several weeks without ANYTHING. Also I am scared of losing sensation, which I have heard has happened to some women. I still have a couple of weeks to decide, but a little friendly advice would be much appreciated!

Reason to hope

I have spent the summer with my sister and her husband, and I have discovered that although she is many years older than me we share a few funny little quirks. We both hate sandwiches, snort when we laugh and twirl our hair when we are lying in bed. The one thing I noticed the most during my stay was the way my brother in law always refers to her as his wife. He says "Where is my wife?", "How is my wife?", or "What is my wife doing?" instead of "Where is K?". But he doesn't say it in a neanderthal chauvinistic way, he says it in a sweet reverent way, almost like he still can't believe he has her forever. They have been married 15 years, and have a child, and he still says "my wife" with the devotion of a newlywed. This sort of affection and devotion always gives me hope that becoming a statistic in the ever rising divorce rate isn't inevitable.

Plus I know they have lots of sex :)

The Chinese say I'm getting some.

I went to lunch with my sister today, and after our fabulous Chinese meal I opened my fortune to the most amazing fortune ever:

"A small lucky package is on its way to you soon."

This needs no embellishment. Be jealous.

Oh Emily

Every year my friends from high school and I try to get together for a week at the beach. Just to catch up and hang out. Our first year out there was by far my favorite. Our house was huge, beautiful and right on the beach. It was a week of drinking and debauchery. The second to last night we were there we got especially drunk, too much sun and not enough food. Enter Emily. She was beautiful in a sweet kind of way, and her beauty really was soul deep. All the girls there insisted she was the ideal female; sweet, soft and also brilliant. She was also the best kisser I have ever had the pleasure of kissing. We had been drinking a lot, and dancing and one thing led to another and we were making out on the deck. I had kissed a few girls before, but never to this extent, and never had I been as turned on by a girl as I was for her. Did I forget to mention that her boyfriend happened to be my high school sweetheart, who I am very good friends with? He wandered outside looking for her and found the two of us. Whoops, but at least he wasn't upset just amused. She still remains one of the best I've ever had, and we still talk every once in a while. I may have bi-curious tendencies but when it comes down to it, I love men, but I would give them up for Emily, she is that amazing in bed and out!

Battlestar Galactica > Lesbians

Sometimes I feel like I am speaking a different language. I was just talking to E, and I commented that I was going to make a lesbian profile on a dating site so I could see what girls were into me. (I haven't really decided if I want to pursue the chick thing yet, but have been having increasingly hot lesbian fantasies lately.) He made some mumbling about how that was funny. And then went into FULL HYSTERICS about some sci-fi show that had weird english dubbing. My lesbian fantasies get nothing, but the wrong words on an episode of Battlestar Galactica gets five minutes of chuckles. Am I the only one who finds this disconcerting?

In search of..

I have never met a guy who didn't like sex, and rarely one who refused it when offered. But what I haven't met yet is one who loves women, and from that springs his love of sex. The kind that wants to spend hours with his face between my legs strictly because he loves making me cum. I want a man who loves watching my face as I orgasm, who cares about the act of sex, more than the orgasm at the end. I'm not selfish, I would make those hours more than worth his time, I love to give almost more than I like to receive. I don't mean to insinuate that the ones I have been with were selfish or bad lovers, they have all been good in different ways, but none have felt about sex the way I do. I know these men exist, the ones who find sheer delight in all things feminine, all their smells, and tastes and sounds. I have yet to find one, but I am definitely looking.

Happy HNT!!

My first HNT! Its really only so I can share my beloved tattoo with the world. It has personal meaning, and I've had it for a few months. I have the bug to get another one, but I haven't made a decision. Have a happy HNT!!

p.s. It looks like its lopsided in the picture, but its not.. weird.

Eastern European Vadge

ME: i want a russian accent
"E" : i want a russian chick
"E" : or czech
ME : oo me too
"E" : u love soviet pussy dont u
ME : bahahahahah

This made me laugh so hard I snorted. Sexy huh?

Like a Greek Tragedy

I have not done laundry in weeks, out of pure laziness. So I am forced to wear one of the last pair of underwear in my drawer. I know what you are thinking, granny panties with questionable elastic. Oh no, the only ones left are completely lace boy shorts in red and black. This is the sad state of my sex life, the only clean panties I have left are the sexy ones because I have no use for sexy underwear! How fucking sad is that? I may cry.

Sweet Nostalgia

After only a few minutes he came, thrusting into my mouth with a loud groan. In my little experience with head I had never swallowed before, but I knew that his thrust had made it easier and I was curious. I looked up at him and swallowed, his eyes getting big, surprised that I had chosen to do so. Out of nervousness I flicked my tongue to the corner of my mouth in a gesture he would later tell me was sexy, and glanced down at my comforter. I remember thinking that my Mom had picked out this comforter and I broke out in giggles. I laughed so hard I fell back on the rug holding my stomach as tears came to my eyes.

“Baby, um, are you ok?” He asked hesitantly.

I quickly composed myself, and reassured him that he wasn’t the reason I was laughing, that I had just laughed to release nervous energy. He looked a little skeptical, and I’m not sure he believed me but he didn’t say anything. I got onto the bed and curled up into his side and laid my head on his chest. And then he kissed me, sweet and warm.

Funk.

I have recently suffered a blow that has left me feeling lost and depressed. One of these days, when I am not feeling so bruised I will write about it, but for now all I have is a funny story about my beloved niece.

As we are floating in the pool she looks at me, throws her hands up like a G and says "This little gangsta's got some funk."

Priceless.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack.

I spent the week drinking too much vodka and living in a bathing suit. It was glorious. If you have never been on a houseboat, i fully reccomend that you do. They are big thing here in the Midwest where I am spending the summer and I finally understand the appeal. What could possibly be wrong with floating in the middle of a gorgeous lake with friends and family and nine handles of booze. Did I mention theres a hottub on the roof? Unfortunately there was no oppurtunity for any sexy hottub fun but still a very lovely time. My whole body is sore from assorted water sports and my general clumsiness, and I am exhausted so my post is super lame, but I promise to be back soon with something fun.

P.S. Rogue mentioned me on his blog and he literally made my week. Haha, I know I am such a dork.

Against the Rules.

"I just wanted to call and tell you how i miss you and i love you so much. Please call me, i miss you so much."

These are not voicemails that should be left by your ex. Especially an ex who has a girlfriend. And more to the point I shouldn't let it pull me in, but I can't seem to help it.

I'm going on vacation for a week, and won't be near a computer till I get back. Theres also no cell service or any kind of electronics.. I'm quite excited. Try not to miss me too much : )

First time.

The first time I had sex he couldn't get it up. If this happened now I wouldn't be so affected, I would know that it didn't really reflect on me, especially since I knew that he wanted me, that he was just scared and nervous. But at the time, i was horrified. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Being the OCD girl that I am, I had planned this, and the failure that occurred rocked me. Logically I knew that I had done all I could, that no amount of coaxing could overcome whatever nervousness had befallen him. But I fled the room (without panties) and cried in the stairwell.

I like to think that I learned a lot from the experience, how to be a more understanding partner, patient and non-judgmental. And I did. But the truth is that my burgeoning sexual self-confidence was shattered, and it took a long time to recover. I was humiliated and heartbroken at what I thought was my failure, and took a long time to figure out that sometimes these things happen and no one is to blame. My first time was not spectacular, or good by any means, but I have chosen to see it as an oppurtunity for Karma to pay me back with some life-altering sexual encouter. Don't worry, if I get my cosmic payback, you will be the first to know ;)

Sweeeeeeet Dreams

Dark Knight was epic. EPIC. I really enjoyed it, and was blown away by Heath Ledgers performance. Out with a bang he went. When im not so tired (its 2:55 am) I will fill you in on the weird night I had, but for now i just urge to you to see Christian Bale in all his glory.

p.s. Am i the only one who gets all... mushy.. when he uses his Batman voice? Instead of the suit picture him holding handcuffs and I think you will get my drift...

Random hilarity.

We were driving to dinner, discussing where we wanted to go. We being me, my sister, her husband and my niece. We are trying to decide between O'Charleys and a Japanese steakhouse. Cam couldn't remember ever having been to the Japanese restaurant, so my sister says " Ya know its that Hitachi place."

She of course meant hibachi, but I broke into hysterical laughter. I don't know if it was a slip of the tongue or if she was preoccupied with dirty thoughts, but either way it was priceless.

Out of the mouths of babes

My nine year old niece is the most precocious child I have ever met. She is incredibly clever, and very smart. She says the darndest things. One day as we sat at the dinner table, we being myself, my niece, my sister and her husband, she innocently and inquisitively asks " what are those plastic things boys put on their penises?" She is nine. I desperately prayed for invisibility or at least the ability to sink unnoticed into the floor as my sister calmly answered her question and my brother in law tried not to giggle. I can't believe I'm really about to say this but... back in my day, we did not know about condoms at nine.

Am I mean?

So i know i said some harsh things about online dating in the post about my sister, but that was purely out of anger and irritation at the boy who robbed my sister of her v-card (yes technically she gave it to him, but to me he will always be a thief!). But in reality i have every respect for people who choose that route, its not for me, my super high anxiety level just cannot handle that. But ironically i do have an account at an online dating service that i got forever ago at the urging of a friend so that i could read something funny on her site. Yes, i know that is not what these sites are designed for, but it was free.

I only occasionally look at the emails guy send me and only then because its a little ego boost to have complete strangers telling me I'm hot. So shallow I know, but who doesn't like to hear they are hot? So I have never responded to any of the emails until the other night when I get this from a 35 year old guy:

"love to chat if i am not to old for you..i am a nice guy.and alot of fun.hope to hear from you"

I have no clue what possessed me to respond but I did:

Haha.. isn't 19 a little young for you? Unless your into that kind of thing...

: )

So i know that I sort of asked for trouble with my cheekiness, but i honestly thought i was being cute/funny. I obviously have no interest in a 35 year old man, but it was two in the morning and I was bored. This is the response i got back:

i am not a old man...i still have the time of my life.do you yhink their is something wrong with that.35 just means i can afford to do more.and woman appreciate that.girls dont always want to settle for pizza.hope to hear from you,unless your gonna be mean

There are just so many things wrong with this. What i really wanted to reply was that its obvious that he is insecure about his age and that he is hitting on girls nearly half his age. And who says mean? I was being mean? Are we in the seventh grade?

There have been a couple more emails exalting my hotness and hoping for me to answer his messages. I obviously haven't answered, and have no plans to, but I have gotten a few giggles out of it. Was i wrong to have joked with him? I really didnt mean to hurt anyones feelings, and definitely didn't mean to insinuate that he was old, but his slightly condescending and immature response annoyed me. Hmm.. maybe i am mean.

Makes ya go blind

"Research by Arvalea Nelson indicates that consistently orgasmic women tend to describe themselves as contented, good-natured, insightful, self-confident, independent, realistic, strong, capable, and understanding while non-orgasmic women tend to describe themselves as bitter, despondent, dissatisfied, distrustful, fussy, immature, inhibited, prejudiced, and sulky."

Yes, this is proof that you should get off as often as humanly possible. Not that I needed to be told, but a little scientific backup is always nice :)

SHE MET HIM ONLINE

She met him online. MY BABY SISTER (yes i know she is technically older than me, but in life years she is infinitely younger than I) met some guy on the internet and FUCKED HIM. So i like to consider myself a very sexually enlightened girl, and I have posted about how I don't judge peoples sexual choices. Now I find myself in the awkward place of judging my sisters choices. I like to think that because she is my sister I have every right to judge and/or question her, but in all reality my own choices about sex have not gotten me membership in MENSA. I love my sister dearly, I do, but she does not always make the best decisions, and she also has special circumstances that make her decisions about sex particularly worrisome. She has never really been in a relationship, never had a serious boyfriend and now she decides to hand over her V-Card to some loser ( I have chosen to view him as a loser because he has royally pissed me off) like its a stick of bubble gum. Now i shall list the sins against him:
1. I have my doubts about guys who pick up chicks on the internet, I mean what is wrong with them that they cannot pick up girls at a bar like a normal guy? (not a freaking word Katie you hear me?)
2. My mother says he looks like a skinhead. That one speaks for itself.
3. He is old... ok so hes like 27 but thats too old for her.
4. He has a kid. Now I know that not everyone who has a kid out of wedlock is a loser, and I am not usually so judgmental, but this is my sister we are talking about, I don't want her to be with some asshole who knocked up his girlfriend. Not to mention my sister couldn't keep a fern alive for more than a week.. and now shes gonna be Stepmommy Dearest? I don't think so.

He could be a perfectly nice guy, who genuinely cares for her. He could also be the scum of the earth, I just don't know. All i do know ishe is going to get his face smashed in if he hurts her.
My question is, am i overreacting? Am I being crazy? And if I'm not, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Too much?

I have always had an intense fear of being too sexual. I have always known that I like/want/crave sex more than most. Not to say I am slutty because I am far from, but I have always been so intrigued and consumed with thoughts about sex. It probably stems from slight abuse as a child, this fear of being "too sexual." I read a lot of blogs now, some about hookers, some about lesbians, gays and some about women who just love sex. Some I think are hot, some are too much for me and some are WAY too much for me, but I have never read any that I judge the writer for their sexuality and the way they express it. I have no desire to have anal sex, or to be fisted ( I mean lets face it, I cried when they used that speculum thing at the gyno) but if thats what gets you off, more power to you. I have a friend, an ex actually, that I had crazy feelings for, but I never thought he could handle my sexuality. Then one day he completely blew me away. And for a while I thought i couldnt keep up with him, and I regretted underestimating him.

I think now that I was correct in my first assumption, that although he is more comfortable talking about sex than I am, I am more sexual than he is. We have talked extensively about what we like, dislike, fantasize about and what we think is interesting but aren't gutsy enough to try. Its hard to explain exactly how this sharing of passion and sex has turned into something almost dirty for me. Someone who used to make me feel so safe, and so sexy has made me feel bad about something that used to make me feel good. I dont think he is doing this on purpose, he loves me in his own way and wouldnt purposefully hurt me. But I still have feelings of shame sometimes when I mention sex or masturbating, eventhough a few months ago I would have gotten a very enthusiastic response to the fact that I was turned on, or that I bought a vibrator. So what has changed? Am I TOO sexual for him now? I keep reminding myself that my sexuality is my own, and I shouldnt care about what he thinks, if he doesnt like it then too bad for him. I do miss that outlet, it was nice to talk and explore, but if he has changed then so be it. I just need to find someone who can appreciate my love of all things dirty. But I still can't help but feel abnormal every once in a while.

Sex and Coffee

I love coffee. Always have, ever since my grandmother began serving it to me laden with milk and sugar at age 7 ( much to my parents chagrin). If i could i would walk around with a coffee IV permanently in my arm I would. As i took my little charge to get ice cream as reward for good behavior I noticed an cute and ironically named coffee place next door. Since i had only had a couple cups today i decided i could treat myself to a four dollar cup of mediocre coffee. Best four dollars i have ever spent. The coffee boy (which he will now affectionately be called) was so freaking adorable. The kind of guy who is gorgeous and has no clue, and is slightly shy which has always done fun things to my pulse and panties. I will be frequenting this coffee shop a lot in the next few weeks. And the highlight of my coffee trip? He checked out my boobs (the only reason i tolerate my ridiculously large breasts) and then blushed. HONEST TO GOD HE BLUSHED. I know.. sooooo adorable right? If only i could make him stop calling me Ma'am. But even that is kind of cute.

p.s. My mom found my vibrator. Awkwaaaaaaaaaaard.

Am I on the wrong team?

I had a dream last night that cracked me up and made me wonder. It was the best and most realistic dream I have ever had about me in a relationship. It was exactly the way i would act in real life, and the kind of relationship i have always dreamed of (haha). It even included great sex and a bump in the road i handled maturely and calmly (which would be the first time ever). So what is so scary about this dream? I am a chick. In this dream.. i was WITH a chick. And being a lesbian does not freak me out, i have kissed my fair share of girls and frankly i have fantastic taste in women. But my question is.. does this mean i should give the girl on girl a shot? Maybe i have been playing for the wrong team all along. Hmm.. def something to think about.