Sweet Nostalgia

After only a few minutes he came, thrusting into my mouth with a loud groan. In my little experience with head I had never swallowed before, but I knew that his thrust had made it easier and I was curious. I looked up at him and swallowed, his eyes getting big, surprised that I had chosen to do so. Out of nervousness I flicked my tongue to the corner of my mouth in a gesture he would later tell me was sexy, and glanced down at my comforter. I remember thinking that my Mom had picked out this comforter and I broke out in giggles. I laughed so hard I fell back on the rug holding my stomach as tears came to my eyes.

“Baby, um, are you ok?” He asked hesitantly.

I quickly composed myself, and reassured him that he wasn’t the reason I was laughing, that I had just laughed to release nervous energy. He looked a little skeptical, and I’m not sure he believed me but he didn’t say anything. I got onto the bed and curled up into his side and laid my head on his chest. And then he kissed me, sweet and warm.


I have recently suffered a blow that has left me feeling lost and depressed. One of these days, when I am not feeling so bruised I will write about it, but for now all I have is a funny story about my beloved niece.

As we are floating in the pool she looks at me, throws her hands up like a G and says "This little gangsta's got some funk."


I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack.

I spent the week drinking too much vodka and living in a bathing suit. It was glorious. If you have never been on a houseboat, i fully reccomend that you do. They are big thing here in the Midwest where I am spending the summer and I finally understand the appeal. What could possibly be wrong with floating in the middle of a gorgeous lake with friends and family and nine handles of booze. Did I mention theres a hottub on the roof? Unfortunately there was no oppurtunity for any sexy hottub fun but still a very lovely time. My whole body is sore from assorted water sports and my general clumsiness, and I am exhausted so my post is super lame, but I promise to be back soon with something fun.

P.S. Rogue mentioned me on his blog and he literally made my week. Haha, I know I am such a dork.

Against the Rules.

"I just wanted to call and tell you how i miss you and i love you so much. Please call me, i miss you so much."

These are not voicemails that should be left by your ex. Especially an ex who has a girlfriend. And more to the point I shouldn't let it pull me in, but I can't seem to help it.

I'm going on vacation for a week, and won't be near a computer till I get back. Theres also no cell service or any kind of electronics.. I'm quite excited. Try not to miss me too much : )

First time.

The first time I had sex he couldn't get it up. If this happened now I wouldn't be so affected, I would know that it didn't really reflect on me, especially since I knew that he wanted me, that he was just scared and nervous. But at the time, i was horrified. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Being the OCD girl that I am, I had planned this, and the failure that occurred rocked me. Logically I knew that I had done all I could, that no amount of coaxing could overcome whatever nervousness had befallen him. But I fled the room (without panties) and cried in the stairwell.

I like to think that I learned a lot from the experience, how to be a more understanding partner, patient and non-judgmental. And I did. But the truth is that my burgeoning sexual self-confidence was shattered, and it took a long time to recover. I was humiliated and heartbroken at what I thought was my failure, and took a long time to figure out that sometimes these things happen and no one is to blame. My first time was not spectacular, or good by any means, but I have chosen to see it as an oppurtunity for Karma to pay me back with some life-altering sexual encouter. Don't worry, if I get my cosmic payback, you will be the first to know ;)

Sweeeeeeet Dreams

Dark Knight was epic. EPIC. I really enjoyed it, and was blown away by Heath Ledgers performance. Out with a bang he went. When im not so tired (its 2:55 am) I will fill you in on the weird night I had, but for now i just urge to you to see Christian Bale in all his glory.

p.s. Am i the only one who gets all... mushy.. when he uses his Batman voice? Instead of the suit picture him holding handcuffs and I think you will get my drift...

Random hilarity.

We were driving to dinner, discussing where we wanted to go. We being me, my sister, her husband and my niece. We are trying to decide between O'Charleys and a Japanese steakhouse. Cam couldn't remember ever having been to the Japanese restaurant, so my sister says " Ya know its that Hitachi place."

She of course meant hibachi, but I broke into hysterical laughter. I don't know if it was a slip of the tongue or if she was preoccupied with dirty thoughts, but either way it was priceless.

Out of the mouths of babes

My nine year old niece is the most precocious child I have ever met. She is incredibly clever, and very smart. She says the darndest things. One day as we sat at the dinner table, we being myself, my niece, my sister and her husband, she innocently and inquisitively asks " what are those plastic things boys put on their penises?" She is nine. I desperately prayed for invisibility or at least the ability to sink unnoticed into the floor as my sister calmly answered her question and my brother in law tried not to giggle. I can't believe I'm really about to say this but... back in my day, we did not know about condoms at nine.

Am I mean?

So i know i said some harsh things about online dating in the post about my sister, but that was purely out of anger and irritation at the boy who robbed my sister of her v-card (yes technically she gave it to him, but to me he will always be a thief!). But in reality i have every respect for people who choose that route, its not for me, my super high anxiety level just cannot handle that. But ironically i do have an account at an online dating service that i got forever ago at the urging of a friend so that i could read something funny on her site. Yes, i know that is not what these sites are designed for, but it was free.

I only occasionally look at the emails guy send me and only then because its a little ego boost to have complete strangers telling me I'm hot. So shallow I know, but who doesn't like to hear they are hot? So I have never responded to any of the emails until the other night when I get this from a 35 year old guy:

"love to chat if i am not to old for you..i am a nice guy.and alot of fun.hope to hear from you"

I have no clue what possessed me to respond but I did:

Haha.. isn't 19 a little young for you? Unless your into that kind of thing...

: )

So i know that I sort of asked for trouble with my cheekiness, but i honestly thought i was being cute/funny. I obviously have no interest in a 35 year old man, but it was two in the morning and I was bored. This is the response i got back:

i am not a old man...i still have the time of my life.do you yhink their is something wrong with that.35 just means i can afford to do more.and woman appreciate that.girls dont always want to settle for pizza.hope to hear from you,unless your gonna be mean

There are just so many things wrong with this. What i really wanted to reply was that its obvious that he is insecure about his age and that he is hitting on girls nearly half his age. And who says mean? I was being mean? Are we in the seventh grade?

There have been a couple more emails exalting my hotness and hoping for me to answer his messages. I obviously haven't answered, and have no plans to, but I have gotten a few giggles out of it. Was i wrong to have joked with him? I really didnt mean to hurt anyones feelings, and definitely didn't mean to insinuate that he was old, but his slightly condescending and immature response annoyed me. Hmm.. maybe i am mean.

Makes ya go blind

"Research by Arvalea Nelson indicates that consistently orgasmic women tend to describe themselves as contented, good-natured, insightful, self-confident, independent, realistic, strong, capable, and understanding while non-orgasmic women tend to describe themselves as bitter, despondent, dissatisfied, distrustful, fussy, immature, inhibited, prejudiced, and sulky."

Yes, this is proof that you should get off as often as humanly possible. Not that I needed to be told, but a little scientific backup is always nice :)


She met him online. MY BABY SISTER (yes i know she is technically older than me, but in life years she is infinitely younger than I) met some guy on the internet and FUCKED HIM. So i like to consider myself a very sexually enlightened girl, and I have posted about how I don't judge peoples sexual choices. Now I find myself in the awkward place of judging my sisters choices. I like to think that because she is my sister I have every right to judge and/or question her, but in all reality my own choices about sex have not gotten me membership in MENSA. I love my sister dearly, I do, but she does not always make the best decisions, and she also has special circumstances that make her decisions about sex particularly worrisome. She has never really been in a relationship, never had a serious boyfriend and now she decides to hand over her V-Card to some loser ( I have chosen to view him as a loser because he has royally pissed me off) like its a stick of bubble gum. Now i shall list the sins against him:
1. I have my doubts about guys who pick up chicks on the internet, I mean what is wrong with them that they cannot pick up girls at a bar like a normal guy? (not a freaking word Katie you hear me?)
2. My mother says he looks like a skinhead. That one speaks for itself.
3. He is old... ok so hes like 27 but thats too old for her.
4. He has a kid. Now I know that not everyone who has a kid out of wedlock is a loser, and I am not usually so judgmental, but this is my sister we are talking about, I don't want her to be with some asshole who knocked up his girlfriend. Not to mention my sister couldn't keep a fern alive for more than a week.. and now shes gonna be Stepmommy Dearest? I don't think so.

He could be a perfectly nice guy, who genuinely cares for her. He could also be the scum of the earth, I just don't know. All i do know ishe is going to get his face smashed in if he hurts her.
My question is, am i overreacting? Am I being crazy? And if I'm not, what the fuck am I supposed to do?