The first time I had sex he couldn't get it up. If this happened now I wouldn't be so affected, I would know that it didn't really reflect on me, especially since I knew that he wanted me, that he was just scared and nervous. But at the time, i was horrified. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Being the OCD girl that I am, I had planned this, and the failure that occurred rocked me. Logically I knew that I had done all I could, that no amount of coaxing could overcome whatever nervousness had befallen him. But I fled the room (without panties) and cried in the stairwell.
I like to think that I learned a lot from the experience, how to be a more understanding partner, patient and non-judgmental. And I did. But the truth is that my burgeoning sexual self-confidence was shattered, and it took a long time to recover. I was humiliated and heartbroken at what I thought was my failure, and took a long time to figure out that sometimes these things happen and no one is to blame. My first time was not spectacular, or good by any means, but I have chosen to see it as an oppurtunity for Karma to pay me back with some life-altering sexual encouter. Don't worry, if I get my cosmic payback, you will be the first to know ;)
First time.
Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 1:31 PM
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2 comments:
July 19, 2008 at 8:23 PM
It didn't happen to me my first time, but I really liked a guy and it happened on our first time, and that was difficult. It's a tough spot to be in, sadly. But yeah, sometimes it just happens.
July 21, 2008 at 2:18 PM
I think you may be being a little too hard on yourself.
There are lots of reasons why a male can have trouble getting hard, and the first time you're with a new partner can sometimes be up there. It doesn't mean that he's not enjoying you, or that there's anything "wrong" with you: he can be nervous, stressed, afraid, tired, drunk. Putting emphasis on the state of his cock, even if done patiently, con sometimes make it worse.
The thing to try then? Explore shared pleasure in other ways. Make-out, kiss, explore, have him pleasure you. There's no reason why you still can't have fun, and when he's let go of whatever is burdening him, rest assured that he'll be thick and throbbing and eager to bust your nut.
But don't make the mistake of believing that you did something wrong. Cocks can be temperamental things.
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